I liked the working in of Defoe and the story of the Annumpi and the Spanish but I have to admit that the Big Jimmy/Little Jimmy part just didn't do anything for me -- too much talk, not enough continuation of the story maybe.
My recollection is that Dan'l Boone was CAPTURED by Indians and lived with them for months during the revolution. Don't remember him getting near Detroit?
But of course it is an Irishman telling the story. :)
Having a character with military experience is helpful at this point in the story but I'm with Andi and KS -too much talking.
Boone was captured in the Greater Metropolitan Area of Detroit. I forgot he was captured during the war. OK, I'm convinced, too much talking. I fell into a trap. I did need a character with a military background and I wanted Big James to an outsized "character," so I thought the storytelling would work, I will remember: Don't tell, show.
I liked the working in of Defoe and the story of the Annumpi and the Spanish but I have to admit that the Big Jimmy/Little Jimmy part just didn't do anything for me -- too much talk, not enough continuation of the story maybe.
ReplyDeleteI may have made a mistake with the Big James character. Let's see if he can fit in. I hope you read the version without the attempt to dialect.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Boone??
ReplyDeleteI'm with Andi, more action, less talk, fewer new characters (I"m still needing a dramatis personae, now more than ever.)
Oh dear, I just made a Nixon reference. My apologies.
A Bryant traveling with Daniel Boone? What an unlikely event.
ReplyDeleteMy recollection is that Dan'l Boone was CAPTURED by Indians and lived with them for months during the revolution. Don't remember him getting near Detroit?
ReplyDeleteBut of course it is an Irishman telling the story. :)
Having a character with military experience is helpful at this point in the story but I'm with Andi and KS -too much talking.
Boone was captured in the Greater Metropolitan Area of Detroit. I forgot he was captured during the war. OK, I'm convinced, too much talking. I fell into a trap. I did need a character with a military background and I wanted Big James to an outsized "character," so I thought the storytelling would work, I will remember: Don't tell, show.
ReplyDelete